Medium Writing Is Helping Me Rebuild My Confidence One Article At A Time

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Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

when someone you love cheats on you

I opened my eyes. It was still dark. I grabbed my phone to see a bright 3:30am glowing from the screen. Where was she? No missed calls. No texts. I hadn’t heard from Bethany, my girlfriend, since 11pm when I left the party and told her to call me if she needed a ride. I felt a knot in my stomach, something wasn’t right. I tried calling Bethany. It went right to voicemail. I started to worry, really worry. I decided to call our friend Sara, who had thrown the party.

“Hello” a sleepy voice answered.

“Hey, Sara. Sorry to wake you, but is Bethany crashing with you, by chance?” I said trying to not sound too panicked.

“No, Jay. Is she not with you? We went to a bar and she left with Ed. I figured he dropped her off.” Sara replied.

“No. She didn’t come here. And her phone is off or dead. Thanks.”

My heart leapt out of my chest at the sound of Ed’s name. Ed was her coworker. I did not like Ed. But I also didn’t know why I didn’t like Ed. I was in an ongoing internal battle to talk myself out of disliking him since there was no logical reason to not like him. Then again, there was no logical reason to like him either. The first time I met Ed, he shook my hand with an overcompensating tight grip, like he was trying to outman me with a greeting. He then took Bethany on a ride on his motorcycle, as I watched from the porch. Ed gave off dickhead vibes. Maybe because Ed was kind of a dickhead.

I was typically not a jealous person. Jealousy to me, is a symptom of a lack of trust in a relationship. And relationships need trust. I did not trust Ed. And suddenly I didn’t know if I trusted Bethany. I felt my cheeks get flush. I started imagining Ed kissing Bethany.

Stop. Breathe. Don’t jump to conclusions. Bethany loves you. She is planning to move in with you in the fall when her lease is up. And we’re even doing a trial run for a month while a friend stays at her place. It’s late and you aren’t thinking clearly. It’s almost 4am and she isn’t back yet and her phone is dead. Why isn’t she back yet? What if something happened to Bethany?

I sent her a text, thinking at least she’d see it as soon as she plugged her phone in. If she…

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