Trump Resigns

Democrats demand an immediate presidential election.

The news that half of America has been anxiously awaiting finally has come. After realizing that there is no way to beat the Democrats at their lock step, lawsuit game, President Trump handed over the keys to the Oval Office and flew away to his new Trump Tower project in Moscow.

In a move that surprises nobody, Democrats then petitioned the 9th Circuit Court to declare emergency presidential elections. In a startling move, the 9th Circuit took exactly forty-five seconds to rule for the Democrats with a five hundred page ruling that Nancy declared would be read immediately after whomever we chose gets elected as the 46th President or whichever number we’re on now.

In yet another move that surprises absolutely nobody at all, the Democrats also won an injunction against the Electoral College. Chuck declared that finally the most popular person will be elected to president and never again will those pesky states like Wyoming or Kansas that nobody cares about anyway ever have to even hold elections as their vote doesn’t matter anyway.

It may seem surprising but what did you really expect once the Democrats won the House and could hold hearings rather than legislate like they’re supposed to? Democrats are well trained and they stick together. There is little to no difference of opinion. When their leaders speak, they all rush to obey and get in line.

Finally we can put this bad history of a presidential legacy to bed and move on to becoming the greatest socialist experiment known to mankind. Enough of that pesky Capitalist crap, it’s finally time to move into being the kinder, gentler nation we were truly meant to be.

Whomever ends up getting elected to the presidency, their agenda has already been set for them. What we can expect over the next two to three weeks after the presidential election are the following great moves forward to the progress we deserve.

Open borders: all South Americans will immediately be issued dual citizenship so they can move freely back and forth between whichever America best suits them at the time. The same will be given to all Canadians. Americans will still have to obtain visas and observe all other sovereign borders. We as a kinder…

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