My safe word is keep going

Ok nothing to do with the fabulous feelings of now.

Kinda feeling morose. Watching another episode of new Amsterdam. The current jam these days. Playing more cell phone games. Not cleaning.

But then getting things ready because I’ve planted seeds in the past days weeks. Opthamologist. Signing up for triathlon. Reaching out to Tim’s contact for taxes. Reaching out to sign up to dance.

I can’t commit to ewaves, a gym, swimming class, boxing. But hey maybe. Slowly surely get there.

But last night I decide to organize taxes. And I dive into 2020 Vegas house. And it was a big mystery puzzle to solve. Part work like. Part detective mystery. But it was enlightening.

And I’ve set myself up for some better practices. And I’m setting myself up to make up for appearing as if I were not forthcoming. Because let’s breakdown what went down. I said hr block wouldn’t help. And it appears to this office manager that I’m a bad get. Because I lied. And wasn’t forthcoming in the information. That I didn’t provide them all the information. What had happen was I filled out things online. And then they took that information. And submitted it. And I hadn’t realized she wasn’t going to give me this one on one time. So after the fact. She said we have to wait. So I sent messages. And then this was dropped.

And in full truth, I have to disclose that I refinanced in that year.

But that isn’t exactly the case. I didn’t exactly try harder in my end.

Which opens up another realization popping up in various ways. How private or turtled I tend to get. And how such a terrible off putting way that I go about in a business context trying to win work.

Ok . Pause . On bus. Pretty. Nice bag. Holding a tote with gloves inside like me. And now listening to Gaga. Love in first sight. Scanning fingers. Scanning fingers.

Ok back to the lecture at hand. Mystery was fun. Then I wake up. Swim. But a capo and guitar stand. Oh and yesterday I had bought like eye drops and nasal allergy stuff because my body does like those things.

…

Damn her music is loud. She’s gonna pop her ear drum out.

…

I didn’t have my goggles for swimming and I realized how I’m kinda aimless with them on. It gets so fogged up I can’t see anything in front of me.

…..

Ahh man I think it’s someone else :(

……

But without the goggles, I actually looked ahead. And saw the end of the 25 m . And my times were relatively on the faster side all things considered. Good thing I’ve bought those drops. Hope I can do 750 m. Or 30 minutes without stopping.

….

But so then I finally get home. And the first thing I get to is the new guitar accessories. I can store this any location and the capo along with spanish book and wow I legit sound like a responsorial psalm. And this after the butchering I did last week.

Things are not all the way clean. But they truly feel on the right track. I balance trying not to buy too much in Costco. Yet still get me the things to help me get by. Im leaving the apartment for an adventure feeling good about myself and feeling hopeful and optimistic.

Damn show me your fingers!

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