What we are saying when we say we miss Obama

White Liberal Americans talk a lot about missing Obama. They post compilations of him being funny and clever and congenial on social media with sad emojis and everyone comments with their own set of lamentations. And I get it! He’s charming. He’s smart. He’s fair and deliberate. I would trust him to water my plants while I was on vacation. I wouldn’t fear for my safety if I was alone in a room with him.

But when we say we miss him, what are we really saying? I don’t think we just miss him — the cool president, the great speaker, the dedicated dad. We miss the illusions that he brought us. Having Obama as the president let us feel progressive, let us pretend that one November night had changed everything, forever.

When the president was black we could fool ourselves into believing that we lived in a post-racial world. If a black man could be president then surely a person of color wouldn’t be denied a loan simply because of their race. When the police shot another unarmed black man we could chalk it up to coincidence. When the KKK marched they were just a bunch of nuts supporting a dying ideology.

When the White House was lit up with pride colors we didn’t have to think about the queer folks around the world fearing for their lives. We didn’t have to think about all the kids afraid to come out to their families. We didn’t have to think about the violence that trans and non binary people face merely because they exist.

When the president treated women with respect we didn’t have to think about all of the women who clutch their pepper spray when walking home at night. We didn’t have to think about the institutions that enabled abusers and silenced survivors. When a black woman was First Lady we didn’t have to think about the fact that a black woman is almost three times more likely to be murdered than a white woman.

When the president signed climate change accords we didn’t have to think about how much we consume. When the president believed in climate change we didn’t have to think about the fossil fuels we pry from the ground and ship across the country. We trusted Obama, we left our environment is his hands and so we were free to do whatever we wanted.

When the president talked about Dreamers we didn’t have to think about the borders that carve up Native land and make some people illegal. We didn’t have to think about families torn apart, or the bodies strewn across the desert.

When Obama was president the country wore a mask. We were a nation leading the world, charging towards equality, making responsible environmental decisions. Now that mask is gone. There are no illusions that the America is post-racial, or that women are truly equal, or that we care more about the planet than we do about money. Liberal White America loved that mask — we were simultaneously able to congratulate ourselves for the progress that was being made and absolve ourselves from striving for more. Obama calmed our cognitive dissonance and left us free to distract ourselves. Now that we see what that mask was hiding, see the face that so many others never had the luxury of ignoring, all we can do is long for that beautiful time when we tricked ourselves into thinking that everything was going to be fine.

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